Thursday, August 15, 2013

What's your secret?

Here's a topic I've never written about... happy marriages!

Why not? I can't imagine.  I've been very happily married for over a quarter of a century (yikes, we sound ancient when I word it that way.) My parents' waking hours were devoted to each other until death altered their daily routines. My husband's parents celebrated their golden anniversary and led their lives with the love and devotion to rival any 1950's  family TV show. Many of my friends have been happily married even longer than my hubby and me. I believe in happy marriages, and I've seen many of them.

But, it took reading this delightful advice from a couple celebrating their 70th anniversary for me to realize  it's about time to give happy marriages a moment in the limelight on this blog. Kath and Bill's advice made me smile. It's not really relevant to my relationship (they estimate 25,550; my guy and I have had about 5), but that's the key. Every relationship is different... and every happy couple's secret to success is different.

So what's our secret?

My advice- Accept the person you married for who they are... you're not gonna change them, nor should you. It's funny, the very qualities that made you fall in love with him because he so perfectly complemented you-- are the very same traits that will perplex, challenge and annoy you a few years down the road when infatuation's 'fresh off the shelf' glossiness softens into a patina of familiarity and predictability. It's the same guy. No changing the rules mid-game.

My husband's advice? Start off right; be thoughtful and choose your partner wisely.  Know when to say "yes dear' and leave it at that.

Works for us.

So what's your secret to a happy relationship?

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