Thursday, March 14, 2013

Be a Friend... Break the Silence

Silence Hides Violence
Thank You for Caring and Having the Courage to Start a Conversation!
Be a Friend... Break the Silence
Starting a conversation is difficult, but if you think someone is in trouble, being controlled, abused, or dominated; speaking out is the right thing to do.

What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic Violence is a pattern of behavior used by one person to control another person in an intimate relationship through one or more tactics:

·         emotional abuse/controlling behavior
·         verbal abuse
·         psychological abuse
·         sexual control or abuse
·         threatening behaviors
·         economic abuse
·         physical violence

What are the Signs of Domestic Violence?
·         Is he/she nervous, jumpy, and walking on eggshells?
·         Does he/she seem afraid of their partner or is always anxious to please the partner?
·         Has he/she stopped seeing friends or family, doing the things they enjoy?
·         Has he/she stopped making decisions – leavings them all up to their partner?
·         Does he/she stay in constant contact with their partner throughout the day?
·         Has he/she become anxious or depressed, lost their confidence and/or is unusually quiet?
·         At work, is he/she often tardy, or miss work, get contacted all day by their partner, have poor concentration?
·         Does he/she have any visible signs – bruises, broken bones, scratches, cuts, bite marks, other injuries (and might give unlikely explanations)?

Why People Stay in Abusive Relationships:
Some of these reasons include: 
  • Belief that the abuser will change, that the abuse is their fault or that it is normal
  •  Fear of loneliness, economic hardship, losing custody of children or fear for safety.
  •  Isolation from family, friends, community may leave the victim with no self-esteem and feeling that she/he has nowhere to go.
  •  Love and the desire to keep family together.

How you can start the conversation:
·         Educate yourself about domestic violence – review DVRC’s website; call DVRC and talk with an advocate
·         Tell them you care about them and are concerned about them
·         Ask if they are safe
·         Refer them to DVRC
·         Do NOT judge their situation and their choices, blame them, give them advice or tell them what to do – it’s their choice.


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