What do YOU Care About? What will YOU do?

Yesterday I wrote about tackling huge social issues by focusing on solutions- finding one thing you can do to help. I'm proud to belong to an organization, Soroptimist International that embraces that philosophy as a group and also on a personal level with our members.  

In 2012 alone, Soroptimist International of Saratoga County donated $16,000 to local organizations that help women and girls. They’ve provided impressive support to local organizations for over 35 years. But last year they set the bar even higher and decided to make a global impact by donating over $10,000 to support four global initiatives in marginalized communities in Ecuador, Uganda, and Haiti. 

Dollars raised here in Saratoga at Soroptimist’s Cabin Fever and Secret Garden fundraisers are saving lives across the globe. For example, by partnering with The Giving Circle, our club was able to build a birthing center in the Kagoma Gate Village: Here the ’forgotten people of Uganda’, wartime refugees work as impoverished laborers in the sugar cane fields Their lives  are filled with poverty and injustice we cannot even imagine: children dying from infections that would be easily treated in our country, starvation, child abduction and child sacrifice. 

While the giving Circle has been working to create sanitation and a school, Soroptimist focused on the needs of women. The women of Kagoma Gate Village gave birth in huts on the dirt floor without light, water, medical care or sanitation. Infant and maternal mortality rates were high. But now the community has a clean building for women to give birth… and even the first electric light bulb in the village… all from funds raised at two really fun events.  

It’s daunting to figure out how to fix a social problem… but it’s easy to identify one thing you can do to help.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world.

Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Margaret Mead

Working for Equality, Not against Injustice

A day to remember, honor, and be inspired by at least none decades of women working for equality, for peace, and for justice. International Women's Day has been recognized in the US since 1909 and is commemorated by the United Nations. It's even a national holiday in many countries like China, Vietnam. the USSR and Bulgaria (but not the U.S.--hmmm.) 

Why do we need a day to honor women's struggles for safety and equality? Soroptimist International provides

·         Globally 30% of the world’s women are at risk for beatings, sexual assault or other violence, at least once in their lifetime. Given the world’s population that’s about one billion women.

·         Girls and women are often the targets of trafficking, genital mutilation, female infanticide, sexual abuse, or denial of health care and education.   

·         Of the 600,000-800,000 people trafficked across international borders annually, 80 percent are female. 

Need more reasons?

Instead of looking at the problems, let’s look at opportunities. The Girl Effect is a powerful global movement to foundational issues such as health care and education for girls, because these are keys to creating social change that makes this world a better place not just  for girls and women, but for everyone. The problem of global violence against women seems insurmountable, but finding a way to help one twelve year old girl or the girls in a community… that’s something I can relate to. 

I remember story about when Mother Teresa was asked to march in a protest against the Vietnam War. Surprisingly, she declined. She told the organizers she would have gladly marched for peace, but she would not ever march against something. I’ve always liked that philosophy. When we see injustice we often become outraged, but that outrage can just cause more entrenchment. Better to work together to find solutions, even small ones that make a difference. 

"Never worry about numbers.

Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest you." Mother Teresa

 

 

VAWA... Still Needed 18 Years Later

Today advocates across the country breathed a sigh of relief as the House passed the Violence against Women Act, more commonly known as VAWA. Eighteen years ago then Senator Joe Biden coauthored VAWA, which  became law and ushered in initiatives to build community responses to aid victims of domestic violence, dating violence sexual assault and stalking. VAWA’s  impact has been unmistakable. One of VAWA’s largest discretionary initiatives is for Grants to Encourage Arrest Policies. This support has helped communities build responses systems to help victims and provide training and support so that law enforcement and prosecutors can hold offenders accountable.

In those 18 years the criminal justice response to domestic violence has improved greatly. Veteran police and advocates both remember when the police response to a domestic incident was to separate the parties until things could calm down a bit… now police have the tools and training to determine the primary aggressor and to arrest the abuser; holding offenders accountable  deters future violence and escalation of violence. Since VAWA was implemented there has been a 50% increase in reporting of domestic violence because victims are reaching out for help and a dramatic decrease in intimate partner homicides.

VAWA’s impact is best illustrated by a bumper sticker that still hangs in a dusty corner of our office.

Shame … CRIME!   That shift in thinking was transformational. .. and it has saved lives. There’s still a lot of work to do though. I’m glad VAWA is still there to provide the resources we need.

Now I know some people have concerns that VAWA was implemented to reduce violence against women and the crimes VAWA addresses don’t only affect women. That's true. Men can be abused by an intimate partner. Men can be sexually assaulted or stalked. I don’t disagree. Male victims deserve the same access to support services and justice as female victims. At DVRC we provide services to both male and female victims … and we understand that it can be even more difficult for a male to seek support services or to report to the police because of stigma.  But women are more often the victims of sexual and relationship violence. VAWA hasn’t solely benefited women though. The changes VAWA has created improve our response systems and bring safety and support to all victims of relationship and sexual violence.

Let’s work toward an end to violence against women…and men… and children.

That’s my goal and DVRC’s vision for Saratoga County.

International Women's Day Celebration

On February 14^th at One Billion Rising, about 100 local men and women who care about issues of violence and sexual victimization gathered together and opened their minds, voiced their concerns, and danced in support of creating a movement to create change. As that enthusiasm reached a crescendo with the drum circle, the evening ended and the doors closed and lights were dimmed in the Dance Museum. But the dream has lived on past the ringing of the alarm clock on the 15^th, and will continue with an opportunity for women to gather together in recognition of International Women’s Day.

INTERNATIONAL WOMAN'S DAY CELEBRATION - SARATOGA Friday, March 8, 2012 12 – 2 Saratoga Springs Public Library THE GENDER AGENDA: WOMEN CREATING OUR OWN SPIRITUAL PATHS 2 hours of music, dance and intimate conversation. Discover the wealth of spiritual activities locally. Network and connect with like minded women and bring flyers to advertise your programs. We will inspire each other and celebrate our paths and perhaps go to lunch afterwards. Take the day off! Bring your friends. This years committee: Amejo Amyot, Lin Murphy, Libby Coreno, Shari Parslow and Helene Brecker RSVP appreciated. for more information, contact amejo amyot, ph.d aamejo@gmail.com 518-584-1036

 

A New Kind of Dance Revolution

I frequently speak to community organizations about how most of us are really  unaware of the prevalence of intimate partner violence. Think about it- this crime affects one in four women and one in six men…yet it continues.

Until each of us speaks out to expose, challenge, or educate we won’t change the social norms that perpetuate domestic violence. For too long we've looked to victim assistance agencies like DVRC as the solution to end the violence. Helping victims become survivors is essential, but it doesn't address the root cause. We must stop the violence from ever happening. Only then will we end domestic violence- and we need everyone’s help to change attitudes.

 Luckily, I've been noticing a trend in that direction. On Valentine’s Day the National Museum of Dance hosted a One Billion Rising event. What’s One Billion Rising? It’s an international movement to raise awareness about the one billion girls and women on our planet who are raped or beaten in their lifetime. It’s a peaceful revolution using dance to create a movement to end this violence. And the Saratoga’s National Dance Museum did just that.  The full day event culminated with a drum circle led by Chris Ballerno of the NYS Coalition against Sexual Assault. Men, women, girls and boys drummed and danced and joined together in their wish to end sexual violence. The energy in the room reverberated from the drums and hands and feet  pulsating off the walls. As that inspirational day came to a close I found myself hoping that each person would keep that passion for peace burning brightly as their dance led them back out into the day-to-day world… because our ordinary lives are where we create change.

And just a few days later I found that the dance wasn't ending after all. So whether you missed One Billion Rising or you want to continue the momentum, there’s another opportunity on March 8. Look for more details tomorrow.

December 1- World AIDS Day

AIDS first entered our world back in the 1980's.

 I was working locally in human services at the time (it was actually called GRID back then.) As devastating as a HIV diagnosis can be today, it was worse then. The stigma was oppressive (even family members were fearful of those afflicted), treatment was at best only palliative as death was almost inevitable, and information and support services were lacking. We still don't have a cure, but  both medical professionals and the general public have much more knowledge about the illness.

We're doing a much better job educating people about risk prevention strategies. Our community has a wealth of support services (with many dollars for local services raised by our community through AIDSWalk), but still more work needs to be focused on prevention. I was shocked today when I read some statistics on AIDS; in the US, 1 in every 200 people over age 13 is HIV positive... and 20% of those are not aware of it because they haven't been tested. Minorities and those disenfranchised from health care are particularly hard hit.

We're talking less about HIV today; medications are increasing the life expectancy and quality of life for people living with AIDS... but our work isn't  done. The impact of AIDS is even greater in less developed countries. Africa, with less than 15% of the world's population accouints for 70% of AIDS-related deaths.

To learn more or find out what you can to do help visit World AIDS Day.

An Idea Worth Talking About

I love holidays but think sometimes the holiday frenzy takes over. Between media messages and our own consumer peer pressures, it's easy to forget the reason for the season. This year the turkey and stuffing were barely back in the fridge when the malls opened up on Thursday night… shortly followed by Black Friday and Cyber Monday.

Linus tried to remind Charlie Brown and the rest of us about the true spirit of Christmas... but I think we missed the message. While the image of his blanket around the tree is iconic... somehow even it became commercialized.  In fact, you can buy a replica of the Charlie Brown Christmas tree at a variety of retail stores (prices range from $15.74-$49.95- Good Grief!) But today I heard about a new movement that's interesting.

#Giving Tuesday encourages people to give to charitable organizations, but giving isn't just about writing a check... it's about telling people why you're passionate about a cause. # Giving Tuesday encourages people to give to select charities using social media. That's where this movement loses me... not because it's a bad idea... only because I'm a social media dinosaur. But I like the idea of giving, telling others about what's important to you... and learning about the good works others are doing. I’m inspired when friends tell me what they care about.

So today … or  someday soon… think about what you're passionate about, think of how you can help… and share that story with someone you know (or with all of  your Facebook Friends list if you’re more social media savvy than me.)  

Today I’m donating to three organizations;

Domestic Violence and Rape Crisis Services of SaratogaCounty because I truly believe that we can END abuse if we all work together.

The Boy Scouts because this great program provided my sons with experiences that built confidence, leadership, and a commitment to community service… along with inspirational male role models who generously (and with infinite patience) gave their time and talents to nurture these young men, and

Care Links in memory of my mom who gave to help seniors every holiday season. Her favorite charity has since disbanded, but there are lots of seniors in need. CARE Links helps seniors live independently, in the homes where they've made a lifetime of memories. 

So what are you passionate about? I'd love to hear.

Wishing you joy and peace!

BULLY at the Saratoga Film Forum

I’m really committed to community level change. So many of our prevention efforts focus on helping individuals to make changes, but I think working to get communities to make changes is far more effective. So last night I was thrilled to be sitting in a room with 40 people of all ages who attended the Saratoga Film Forum’s showing of the film BULLY. All these people were there because they want to find solutions to this critical problem that affects our schools.

There are two more chances to see the film this weekend. Make time… go see it! It’s a powerful insider’s view of how bullying affects our youth. As an adult, the big wake-up call for me was hearing from youth (those in the movie as well as local youth who attended the discussion panel after the movie) that kids don’t trust that if they tell adults about bullying that we’ll do anything to help (and sometimes they feel that way because of experience). If I took nothing away from the movie, it’s that a kid being bullied is so vulnerable and we  adults need to  listen better and act. This isn’t a pretty topic, so at times the movie is graphic.... and heart wrenching.  I saw some parents attended with their kids; what a great way to really open those lines of communication about what happens when our kids aren't with us; let's face it, that's most of their waking hours. I also spoke with couples who attended together. They said the movie really got them having an in-depth conversation about this subject. Great! And I also heard that some local schools are encouraging their teachers to watch the movie, because they want to do more to eliminate harassment and discrimination in our schools.

After each showing, there’s a panel discussion. Last night a courageous 8^th grader told the intensely personal story about how it felt to be bullied and cyber-bullied throughout 7^th grade.  Another  eight grader has been working toward social change by assisting in creating anti-bullying messages in his school. I wish I could attend again tonight as the panel will be presenting anti-bullying strategies.

It’s a busy weekend for everyone, but carve out a couple of hours this weekend to attend BULLY. It will make a difference for a child right here in our community.

Saratoga Springs City Center Goes Purple... Why?

Saratoag Springs City Center goes purple for Domestic Vioelnce Awareness Month

One quick look in my closet and it’s clear I’m partial to the color purple. Why? Purple has long symbolized the effort to end abuse in relationships, standing for courage, honor and survival. October is a time to raise awareness of domestic violence – to get everyone talking about “purple” as a way to open a conversation about domestic violence, and to let victims know they’re not alone.

Each year, DVRC organizes a Color ME Purple awareness campaign. When I alone wear purple . I look like a woman who likes the color purple. But when many people wear purple: purple dresses, purple ties, purple scarves, purple awareness ribbons… it makes a statement. It conveys that this is a community that cares about safe relationships.  Throughout October I encounter people who say, "I’m wearing purple today"; and more importantly  they’re talking about why they’re wearing purple. It's heartwarming to how much our community cares about ending realtionship abuse.

But I was blown away when two nights ago I saw a really big purple statement. I was leaving work at 7:30 and the City Center was magnificently illuminated in purple. WOW! Now that’s Color ME Purple!

And later this month on October 30, the City Center is the location of DVRC’s 30^th anniversary recognition event, where we’ll be honoring 2 individuals and 2 organizations that have had a transformational impact on DVRC throughout the agency’s 30 year history. Look for more posts in the next 2 weeks about these amazing supporters.

And please  join us for our 30^th anniversary event:

Honoring: Leadership Saratoga Soroptimist International of  Saratoga County Saratoga County Assistant District Attorney Lyn Murphy Home Instead's NYS Senior Heroes 2012 Awardee Katharine Winderlin   Tuesday, October 30, 2012 6:00pm - 8:30pm Saratoga Springs City Center   We hope you'll join us to honor the dedication of all those who have assisted victims of domestic and sexual abuse AND share in our vision to reach and earlier serve all friends, neighbors, family members, and coworkers in need of our help.   Complimentary hors d'oeuvres and beverages Tickets are $75 per person; $35 of each ticket is tax deductible   RSVP to DVRC  518-583-0280 Find us on Facebook here.  October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Wear your PURPLE. Help us END domestic violence in Saratoga County.

 

 

 

When Teaching Our Kids Isn't Enough

In the wake of the Sandusky conviction, I think we all have to shake our heads in disbelief that children could be used and violated in such a way by someone in whom we placed such trust. That Sandusky founded his charity Second Mile, with a mission to help at-risk kids, but instead preyed upon these vulnerable children is appalling. Unfortunately, all too often sex offenders who prey upon children aren’t the villainous masked stranger we’d expect. They are often well known to the parents, respected, and trusted. They use this trust and easy access to the kids to groom them (i.e. prey on the child’s vulnerabilities and ‘pave the way’ before sexually violating them).  In a  study  :

· 46% of sexual predators were family members

· 48% were well known to the family (friend of parent 26%, trusted person in authority such as clergy, teacher, coach 22%), but a mere

· 5% were strangers. (Huot 1999)

Sexual predators are often rational and calculating in how to gain parental trust and access to the child. Historically we’ve focused our prevention efforts on educating children (e.g. good touch/bad touch programs.) Studies indicate that these strategies are insufficient: 

·“Most children do not know, remember or feel empowered to try prevention strategies.”

·Child focused sex abuse prevention should be our “last focus of prevention.”

·We need to “make prevention a national priority where the burden of safety is shifted from children to adults.“  (Kaufman et al 1999)

Sexual abuse of children; it’s something we don’t even want to imagine… but it happens. For more information onwhat parents can do to keep their children safe