I serve on quite a few community coalitions that address
issues affecting our youth and how to guide children, teens and young adults to
make healthy decisions. If you’ve been
alive so long that your memory has stored the Kodachrome images of childhood
in frames nostalgically gilded with Huck Finn-like images of childhood
innocence and freedom from care… well I
hate to burst your bubble, but your memory is playing tricks on you (and you
probably need to go back and reread Mark Twain). The years of our youth are
full of challenges, disappointments, tragedies, fears and betrayals; it’s those
struggles that help us to become resilient, compassionate adults.
Often when adults question “How can we help kids to make
better decisions?”, I think one simple response is to be aware of the messages
we send them through our own actions. Kids learn much more by watching what we
do than by listening to what we say. When my sons were teens they would roll their eyes
as I imparted well-intentioned pearls of wisdom (teenage translation –Mom’s constantly nagging me about stuff I haven’t
even done). Like most parents I thought my words fell on deaf ears. But my
work on the Shenendehowa Community Coalition suggests otherwise. Time and time
again students have told us (in interviews and anonymous surveys) that their parents
are the top influence as they make decisions about using drugs or alcohol.
So last week I found one article about David Cassidy’s
volunteerism at CAPTAIN’s summer lunch program really troubling. Glenn Griffith’scoverage of Cassidy’s mandatory community service gushed unabashedly about
Cassidy’s generosity, humility and caring…. as well as his fame. Cassidy has repeatedly driven drunk (a DUI in
Florida followed by 2 DWIs within a six month period, one in California and one
in NYS). The repeat convictions for
driving intoxicated raise questions about whether he takes any of this seriously (he
reportedly even failed to attend a court date for the NYS arrest, instead
choosing to spend the day at the track.) I wish the man no ill and hope that the arrests
have led him to evaluate his choices to get behind the wheel after drinking,
but wonder what message we are sending to our youth with this public adoration
of Cassidy’s community spirit, while downplaying the severity of the offense
that prompted the community service. These are the same kids we’ll soon be talking
to about the dangers of drunk driving. If community service and laudatory news articles
are the only consequences they see, will they take us seriously when we explain
the decision to drive drunk can be a life altering mistake?
I’d welcome an article about the really great work CAPTAIN
does for kids every day… about their dedicated staff and passionate volunteers.
Their summer lunch program served 1,700 lunches per week this summer at 12 sites throughout Saratoga County. Yes, you read that right-- 1,700 lunches each week! Any kid under 18 who needed a lunch got one, just for asking. If you think poverty, homelessness and hunger don't exist in Saratoga County, those numbers should get you thinking. These kids sit beside yours in schools all over the county. They play on the playground together. They study for the same math tests. And their families struggle to provide for the most basic needs. The challenges these families strive to overcome and the agencies like CAPTAIN who are working every day to help them--- that's what I find inspirational.
But Griffith’s front page news article lauding a ‘celebrity’ for mandated community service,
sugarcoats the reality that drunk drivers cause accidents with tragic
consequences. It also ignores the reality that a multiple drunk driving offender was sentenced to a $900 fine, 6 months' license suspension and community service. Let’s think about the messages we’re sending our community and our kids. They are
watching.
