Two Good Men Made a Difference

We've got a lot of work to do to end relationship and sexual abuse. But one thing that gives me hope is we're not doing this work alone. We've got many community partners. One such partner is Janine Stuchin, the executive director of the Prevention Council. Our agencies collaborate extensively because we understand how alcohol and substance misuse correlate with relationship and sexual abuse. Today Janine has graciously offered to be my guest blogger and share her thoughts on a recent news article:

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil 

is for good men to do nothing.

As I scan the headlines and read news articles of rape and assault, it seems too often the article concludes with perpetrators who seem to get away with the “perfect crime”.  An unconscious or alcohol/drug impaired victim who has been undeniably violated but largely unable to assist in identifying what actually happened.   And then I wonder … did no one, see or hear anything that lead to this crime being committed.  Could anyone have intervened?  Across college campuses Bystander Intervention programs have been brought in, students have been taught by peers to speak up, and challenged to create a new culture that keeps men and women safe in social settings. 

And so as I read The March 31, 2016 Huffington Post article “Ex-Stanford Swimmer Found Guilty of Sexually Assaulting Unconscious Woman on Campus”, I was struck that the turning point in this crime hinged on “two graduate students who rode their bikes by a night-time sexual assault outside a fraternity party”.  They stopped and got involved.  They shouted at the assailant, one cyclist pursued the rapist and one assisted the unconscious but breathing victim.  

And that is why the headline reads “Ex-Stanford Swimmer Found Guilty of Sexually Assaulting Unconscious Woman on Campus”, and not, “Woman Wakes Up With Pine Needles in Her Disheveled Hair [and] Dried Blood on her Hands and Elbows”.  That second quote was her testimony after waking up in the hospital after at least three hours of unconsciousness.    It may take good men doing nothing for evil to prevail, but on that winter night in late 2014, two good men made sure that didn’t happen. 

You can read more about this story here

Janine Stuchin

Executive Director, The Prevention Council of Saratoga County.

Pausing to Answer a Hard Question

I was talking to a friend last week who has done quite a bit of global travel, and much volunteer work helping in third world countries. It was International Women's Day so our conversation turned to topics of women's equality. As we discussed  some of the gender-based injustices she has seen that are commonplace in other parts of the world, we both agreed that we are blessed to live where we do. The she asked me a question that challenged me and made me pause to think before responding, "When you compare what we in the US refer to as gender-based violence, e.g., date and acquaintance rape, sexual harassment in the workplace, or being objectified in the media, to what women worldwide are subjected to, e.g., honor killings, forced child brides, sex trafficking, genital mutilation, does it ever feel to you like we've got 'first world problems' that don't deserve this much attention?"


Hmmm... how to respond? Yes, the life experience of women in war torn countries, in third world countries, in many parts of the world has a level of brutality and injustice that is unthinkable to us. But  does that mean that our efforts to expose discrimination, to address injustice and to work toward equality are frivolous or self-indulgent? They are not. As the old adage says, 'a rising tide raises all ships'. When we look for innovation, whether in technology, health care, or social justice, we often look to the best practices in countries that excel. 



So no, I  don't think it's a waste of resources to focus on issues of equality that affect our 'first world' lives. In fact, if you want to continue this discussion, check out the Women Not Objects website. They've got some great videos  that illustrate the harm caused by the objectification of women in the advertisements we see every day. Every parent should watch these videos with their daughters... and their sons... to open a dialogue about how media influences not only what we purchase, but what we think.




But our activism can't stop with what we see every day... it should extend across the globe to address those horrible injustices my friend has seen. Many of us don't have the ability to do global volunteerism, but that doesn't mean we can't make a difference.  For example,  a local women's service organization, Soroptimist International of Saratoga County has made lives  better for women and girls locally and also globally through their support of projects.
 Each year they contribute toward local projects like: Code Blue  Franklin Community Center, Helping Hands School, Junior Achievement NE,  Camp Abilities Saratoga, Rebuilding Together Saratoga, Saratoga Center for the Family, Saratoga EOC, and,Women’s Voices, Women’s Visions. 
But they also support transformational programs worldwide, like;

• Cinterandes, providing mobile medical support to rural regions in Ecuador where women and girls would not have access to  surgical care without the mobile unit.
• Building a birthing center in a poor area in Africa. Before this Soroptimist project women gave birth on dirt floors, resulting in heightened child and maternal fatality rates.
• To Love A Child's work assisting women and children in war torn Haiti with basic needs, like potable water and toilets to improve sanitation, and
• Drilling for Hope- by providing accessible clean water in third world countries they not only increase health, but also afford girls the opportunity to go to school.

So, my friend;

•  Yes there is prejudice, discrimination, oppression and violence committed against women worldwide... and we should all consider this our problem and need to act to end it.
• No, the magnitude of the need globally does not decrease my desire to address the inequities I see here in the US (in fact, it strengthens that resolve as every stride we take advances hope for women everywhere), and
• Thank you, for giving me the opportunity to think about these issues and realize that:
• the work that Wellspring does every day to end relationship and sexual abuse locally, is a small but important piece of a bigger picture, and 
•  that the fundraisers Soroptimist does (remember to save the date for our Secret Gardens Tour on July 10th) gives people locally a way to help women and girls in our  community... but also to have a real impact across the globe, and 
•  that efforts to decrease violence against women, to  reduce discrimination, and to promote equality don't only help women...they raise up whole communities and the men, women and children in them.

So whether you chose to watch one of the many brief videos at Women Not Objects and discuss it with your friends or kids, or whether you learn more about where our political candidates stand on issues of equality, or whether, like my friend, your altruism extends to using your vacation to provide humanitarian relief in far off places, know that you  can make a difference.

The World Has Changed... Welcome!

Social change.
It's interesting to watch  how a behavior that was socially accepted (or at least tacitly condoned) seemingly overnight is no longer acceptable... or vice versa. In my lifetime I've seen major shifts in thinking about racism, drunk driving, women's rights, smoking, and issues of sexuality and gender expression, just to mention a few.


So what are the factors that underlie these shifts? Is it increased knowledge and understanding? Policies and Laws? Repeated exposure to the problem and personal stories about how people are affected? Is it economic impact? It's all of these.


For several years now I've been commenting that we are reaching a tipping point regarding our society's tolerance regarding domestic and sexual violence. These issues have been around forever, but until recently were considered private and uncomfortably ignored. The graphic images of Ray Rice abusing his fiancée fast forwarded the tipping point. We went from talking about abuse to actually watching domestic violence. And when, cringing, we watched the brutality of a professional athlete punching his fiancée, the blames shifted from judging the victim for choosing to be in the relationship to holding the abuser accountable for committing the violence. And now, seemingly overnight, our policies, attitudes and judgments have changed.


ESPN's Jayson Stark, reporting about Aroldis Chapman's 30 game suspension  makes it clear that the world has changed. I encourage you to read the full article, as his words resonate like a triumphant chorus heralding that after a very long journey we've finally reached  the gates to civilization,


"There once was a time in baseball -- heck, in all sports -- when players abused their spouses and were playing games the next day, as if nothing of any significance had happened...
Well, guess what? Luckily, we don't live in that world anymore... Domestic violence wasn't taken seriously in this sport for way too long a time. So it's almost embarrassing to look back now and recognize how many cases were swept aside or ignored...

For years. For decades.

Until the world changed...

a precedent has been set. And a message has been sent."


Thanks for heralding that change, Mr. Stark. I'm happy to be standing at that gate welcoming everyone to join us.

Happily Taking the Leap

It's February 29th and I've had a great day inspired by the vision of Chamber President Todd Shimkus. He's the genius behind Leap of Kindness Day. The Saratogian quotes Todd explaining the concept, “We thought the best way to use this extra day was to encourage our members and our community to do something kind for someone else,” he explained in a press release. “Rather than simply asking people to do random acts of kindness, we launched this effort 30 days in advance and have worked diligently to connect organizations looking to make a big impact with others in the community who could benefit from a simple thank you or a donation of some kind.”



So today I asked Wellspring staff to think about people or organizations they work with every day that go above and beyond. Those chosen for recognition today varied from individual employees, to organizations that partner with us in innovative collaborations, to businesses whose bottom line is their community. Here's just a few examples:

Wellspring advocate Christie and Chief Veitch



• the  Saratoga Springs Police Department which partners with Wellspring to offer support to domestic violence survivors not only in the crisis, but  in the days or weeks that follow.
• the sexual assault nurse examiners at Saratoga Hospital, Ellis Medicine and Glens Falls Hospital. The compassionate response of these nurses is often the first step in healing for a traumatized survivor of a sexual assault. It's tough work, and intensive training, but these nurses show such  passion and dedication to helping survivors.
• Adirondack Trust Co. and Stewarts Shops, two local businesses that not only are in our community- they're unquestionably for our community, supporting projects and agencies that help address community needs.
• The Downtown Business Association in Saratoga Springs. These primarily small businesses demonstrate caring and compassion for those less fortunate. Every day these businesses support local causes and help people in need, through donations, fundraisers, and simply human concern.
•  Leadership Saratoga- for almost 3 decades, LS has trained community members to be volunteers and leaders. Their members serve on the boards of local nonprofits (my personal thanks to all the LS grads who have guided Wellspring over the years) and donate their time to hundreds of local organizations.

  

  Leadership Saratoga's Kathleen Fyfe and me

It's been gratifying to recognize all the great things that happen just here in our community. What I love about Leap of Kindness Day is that one man's idea has spread so quickly, not just here in Saratoga County, but across the country. Listen to the news-- we focus so much on the negative; yet each day there are so many people doing such inspirational good works. It's gratifying to make the time to recognize them; thanks for giving us the opportunity Todd. But I do think 4 years is too long to wait for another opportunity... let's figure out how to make this an annual event.


" I think the world is going to be saved by millions of small things."

Pete Seeger 

One in Three is Too Many!

When we think of holidays and February our first thoughts might be of candy hearts or perhaps presidents, but I'd like to wish you a Happy TDVAM.

Huh?

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.

According to the Family and Youth Services Bureau, "Each year, nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner. At a rate far higher than other forms of youth violence, teen dating violence impacts 1 in 3 adolescents in the United States through physical, sexual, emotional and verbal abuse."

1 in 3. The statistic alone sounds significant, but if you've ever picked your teenager up at the end of the school  day or after a school basketball game you've got an image in your mind of how many youth stream out of those doors. Now mentally calculate that 1 in 3 number as you're envisioning all those teens walking past you. This is a serious problem.

Wellspring staff work with local youth to raise awareness about relationship and sexual abuse. We have conversations about issues like consent, creating social change, how to intervene if you see a situation, and the connection between alcohol and sexual victimization. We want to give teens the knowledge, skills and confidence to speak up for themselves or for someone in need. So this February talk to a teen about dating violence.

 Here's a quick video about consent to start the conversation... because 1 in 3 is too many.

Help local kids and a positive message go viral by February 12th

At Wellspring we spend a lot of time talking to youth. Why? Our vision is to end relationship and sexual abuse in our community. Crisis and support services and prevention programs are strategies to work toward that goal, but they're not enough. We also need to create social change. We need to address the underlying factors that are woven into our society, beliefs, and our policies and practices which contribute to abuse enduring. Sometimes these are so much a part of the fabric of our  lives that we don't even notice them.


Some students at the Myers Center  are helping to create that social change. They just made a video to raise awareness about Dating Violence Awareness Month... and they need your help to make the video go viral. Here's their story:


Help Myers SADD Video Go Viral by February 12

Help the Myers SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions) students make their video go viral by February 12. The winner will be announced in mid-February. Students who belong to the Myers SADD organization created an original video on domestic violence prevention and entered it in the #ICanDoSomething video challenge. They created a one-minute-long video that features 15 students from the F. Donald Myers Education Center.

The New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence challenged New York State teens, who are between 14 and 18 years old, to create a positive video message about healthy teen dating relationships and make it go viral. 

Click here to view the video and share with everyone you know. 

Try Thai for Wellspring this Wednesday!



Here's a great way to feel terrific while supporting Wellspring. Bodyworks Professionals is offering Thai Massage sessions. Come sample a 30 minute Thai Massage and they'll your donate the proceeds to Wellspring. You'll feel like a new person, while helping others find safety and healing.

Watching

It affects 7.5 million people in the US yearly
For half the people it happens before their 25th birthday
Most of the time it's done by someone they know
It causes fear, employment concerns, some people have to move, and others fear it will never end


What is it?
Stalking


When was the last time you thought about stalking? Maybe you read about a celebrity who is being stalked by a 'fan'. Stalking is one of those things we don't think about too much until it happens to someone we care about. The sad reality is stalking is far more common than most people think. It's also highly correlated with intimate partner violence... and with intimate partner homicide.


Sometimes I'm mindlessly singing along to Sting's I'll be Watching You and I catch myself and shudder as I really listen to the words and think about the terror that stalking elicits.

Every breathe you take

And every move you make

Every bond you break

and every step you take

I'll be watching you

Every single day

And every word you say

Every game you play

And every night you stay

I'll be watching you

Oh you can' t see

You belong to me...

I'll be Watching You is often mistaken as a love song. Wikipedia reports Sting "was disconcerted by how many people think the song is more positive than it is. He insists it is about the obsession with a lost lover, and the jealousy and surveillance that follow...I think the song is very, very sinister and ugly and people have actually misinterpreted it as being a gentle little love song, when it's quite the opposite."

January is National Stalking Awareness Month


It's important to know about stalking, so you can recognize the early signs and encourage someone you know to get help tight away. Got 5 minutes? Here's a quick interactive quiz to help you better understand stalking. And here's a fact sheet for more information about stalking.

National Drug & Alcohol Facts Week

SSCYE invites you to participate in

National Drug & Alcohol Facts Week, Jan. 25 - 31

Help educate young people about the effects and consequences of drug and alcohol use by taking part in National Drug & Alcohol Facts Week. Hosted by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), National Drug Facts Week takes place from Jan. 26 to 31.

In its sixth year, National Drug & Alcohol Facts Week was developed by NIDA to educate teens with science-based facts about the effects and consequences that drugs have on the brain, body, and behavior. By bringing young adults and scientific experts together with a common goal, National Drug & Alcohol Facts Week aims to shatter the myths and empower teens with the knowledge to make positive choices.

Join hundreds of participants across the country, and tens of organizations and school districts in Southern Saratoga County, by getting the facts out about the risks of youth drug use.  Consider working with local youth, schools, and prevention coalitions to organize an educational event or activity for teens that delivers real, factual information about drugs and drug abuse.

Here’s how you can take part:

• Use your social media accounts to share information with your followers using the tweets provided below.  Be sure to give a “shout-out” to the Southern Saratoga County Youth Empowerment (SSCYE) Partnership by using our twitter handle, @SSCYE1.

• Plan an educational event for your community using NIDA’s step-by-step toolkit and free educational materials. More information here:  https://teens.drugabuse.gov/national-drug-alcohol-facts-week

• Register here https://www.nidachat.org/register.aspx for the Drugs & Alcohol Chat Day scheduled for Tuesday, Jan. 26^th from 8 a.m. – 6 p.m., or take the National Drug & Alcohol IQ Challenge Quiz https://teens.drugabuse.gov/quiz/national-drug-facts-week/take-iq-challenge/2015

SOCIAL MEDIA MESSAGING

Marijuana

1. A study showed people 13-38 who used marijuana regularly from teen to adulthood had a significant drop in IQ even if they quit #drugfacts
2. Marijuana use more than doubles a driver’s risk of being in an accident. #drugfacts
3. Early marijuana use can increase the risk of psychosis, a mental disorder where delusions and hallucinations are common symptoms #drugfacts
4. Is Marijuana addicting? 1 in 11 youth who smoke marijuana seek treatment. #drugfacts
5. THC in marijuana, deadens neurons in the part of the brain that’s in charge of short-term memory #drugfacts

 

Alcohol

1. About 5,000 people under 21 die each year from injuries caused by underage drinking #drugfacts
2. More than 4 in 10 people who begin drinking before age 15 eventually become alcoholics #drugfacts
3. Teens who drink heavily are 3 times more likely to try to hurt themselves than those who don’t. #drugfacts
    
   Prescription Drugs

1. In 2007, prescription pain meds were involved in more overdose deaths than heroin and cocaine combined #drugfacts
2. Half of the young people who injected heroin in 3 recent studies started out abusing prescription drugs first #drugfacts
3. Students who abuse Adderall are 9x more likely to use cocaine #drugfacts
    
   Tobacco

1. Most people who start smoking in their teens become regular smokers before they’re 18 #drugfacts
2. 1 in 3 youth smokers will eventually die from a tobacco related disease #drugfacts
3. There are 69 human and animal carcinogens in tobacco smoke #drugfacts
4. Tobacco use is the leading cause of preventable death causing almost half a million deaths each year, many from cancer #drugfacts

 

General

1. The 3 drugs most often mentioned in ER visits related to drug use are cocaine, marijuana, and prescription drugs #drugfacts
2. The drugs with the highest risk for addiction are heroin, cigarettes, and cocaine #drugfacts

Clearly, It Needs to be Stated Clearly

These 10 Rape Prevention Tips may at first elicit a chuckle. But like much humor there's a truth that lingers long after the smile fades.


I'd like to think that in 2016, we don't need to remind people that victims aren't to blame for being assaulted, but judging from a Mayor's response to what the local police chief refers to as "a completely new dimension of crime", we're not there yet. Julie Zeilinger reports that in Cologne, Germany, 80 women were attacked in New Year's Eve by an estimated 100 men who collaborated in a planned gang assault on the women. Cologne's mayor responded not by detailing how the city would address such attacks, but by proposing a Code of Conduct for women to "remain at arm's length from strangers".




For years advocates have tried to reduce sexual violence by educating women about strategies to reduce their vulnerability to being a target of sexual violence (don't leave your drink unattended, don't walk alone late at night); the unintended consequence of these well-intentioned suggestions is that society's first thought is "Why wasn't she being safer when the attack happened?", instead of focusing on why the assailant attacked the victim.



So perhaps it's time to disseminate widely the 10 Rape Prevention Tips that get to the heart of the issue.